Kebab Hunt

Those of you with whom I’m also connected on social media will be familiar with my most popular social media output – Kebab Hunt.

I travel a lot with work, Sure, I’ll have my snout in the Koru Lounge trough sometimes but, mostly, work travel is not luxurious or even comfortable, nor very rock n roll. It’s A to B. Stumble into a motel / hotel. Deliver exceptional learning experience. Travel back. Rinse and repeat. Remind myself to blink now and then.

The kebab hunt is, what I believe young people refer to as, my ‘thing’. The challenge is wherever and whenever I am, I need to find a new kebab place. There are some rules (I’m not a monster). No delivery. If I have a rental car, I can drive. If not, I gotta hoof it on foot. Sometimes it’s a challenge in a small town in the rain with a 10pm arrival, so maybe I need to get creative with a daylight arrangement or a stop-off enroute home.

It keeps me awake. It keeps me alive. It exercises me. The ritual distraction of it humanises what otherwise can be a very draining side of what I do. I’m not complaining; I love what I do.

In a facetime with my mid-20s daughter recently, it turns out that her and her friends are always interested in the next instalment. My contemporaries prod me to make it my next book.

I should also stress I do not literally order a kebab. The default order is whatever variation of mixed kebab iskender / salad + fries. Effectively, a breadless kebab.

Best one in NZ so far after many years of hunting was in Tokoroa and, given that there are 2 places in Tokoroa, I bet you’ll be surprised which one it was. I was training 40km away in a dairy shed in Mangakino. I had my car. Recently, a court found them guilty of a bunch of employment offences relating to wages, conditions, and immigration. My reviews will be once-over-lightly and glib. I'm not a forensic detective.

I have not really been taking it seriously, hence establishing this page. I do not wish to give me myself an onerous task, nor a homework assignment, but I’ll make sure I generate enough content so over time the collective hunts might be book-worthy. And to keep me honest, I’ll be posting my hunt trophies here. I’ll be supporting local businesses and you may like to do so too. I’m pretty chill. The worst review I would have ever done would have been, “Great value for money. Ample portions”.

It's not really about kebabs. I write about workplaces, people-skills, and leadership. Business travel is a big part of what i do but not everyone. It's a peripheral view into my work's impact on my life - mindset, family, health, fitness, etc.

The hunt is on...

Kapadokya Palmerston North 16 October 2024

I’ve been to Palmy many times and I’ve been to Kapadokya a bunch. In at 6:30pm, it’s jumping yet still the staff are still friendly and efficient. When it’s ready, they don’t call my number, they personally hand deliver it to the table where I’m waiting.

No fork or serviettes is my only gripe but I did get a reusable fabric carry bag for my 3 containers. A stroll back to my distantly parked rental car can be messy, hot, or damaging if I’m juggling hot boxes. With the bag, I and my food got back to the motor lodge in one piece, plus I’ve got somewhere to put my gym gear after my 5am trip to Snap Fitness tomorrow.

The tabbouleh is the best I’ve had so far as part of the meal. I might be inclined to order some of that as a separate extra next time. Nothing untoward about the hummus. There might be slightly less food in the box that what you might expect but it’s a big box and it’s so good. I’m here to stuff my soul not my tummy.

The fries sparkled as I fry-drove back and were still rocking for quite some time back in my room. And, surprise surprise, a hidden aioli tub which was fab.

Palmerston North city has several kebab places from which to choose. I saw them as I drove around trying to find a carpark….

Highly recommend.

Kawakawa: Istanbul Kebab

Stopping in Kawakawa enroute home after Kaitaia was not in my plans but now that I’m on this kebab hunt campaign, the part of my brain that notices things notices kebab places. Coopers Beach had a kebab food truck as I zoomed through at legal speeds heading South. It was open and I could’ve turned around, but it was still pre-dinner time. I made a mental note for next time. However, it did spark the thought that a roady-kebab might be a go, given I wouldn’t be arriving home until after 8pm. It would also be my first chance to assess a kebab salad with some miles on the clock. Siri, my travelling partner in crime, assured me there was a new kebab place in Kawakawa where I’d need to stop for petrol anyways. It’d be great to stop there for something other than a spectacularly ornate Dutch toilet. Hey, that place is great and functional, plus a real winner if you’re a fan of people taking photos of toilets you’re about to walk out of.

I was early, it was open and the guy was instantly friendly and helpful. I ordered my usual and it was ready swiftly. I did have my skull-candy earbuds in, so I might’ve nodded a few times when he double-checked what I was asking for. I’d ordered fries to accompany my mixed meat kebab salad and I thought he was confirming that or asking about chicken salt so I’m generally saying yes to anything at this stage. This will be relevant later.

Back to the car, I shifted gear around and binned some trash. I’m a tidy kiwi by default, obsessed by spatial efficiency, and if I’m fry-driving, things better be where they need to be so I can access them safely braille-style. I also shifted the 2-for-1 Red Bulls I’d grabbed from the petrol station. I took a photo of the meal on the black passenger seat which, in daylight, really made the meal in a white clamshell container pop.

The fries were freakin’ awesome – medium sized, crisp exterior, fluffy interior, and critically for fry-driving, near zero grease. My steering wheel thanks me.

I’m very aware than these meals are best consumed instantly but these reviews are business traveller reviews. Sometimes you gotta buy and drive.

3.5 hours later, I’m home but I’m still not eating. I need to prep for the next day’s trip to Palmerston North, plus smash through the pre and post admin tasks that have been piling up when I’ve been in front of clients delivering learning. So, by the time I peel off the rubber band ensuring the structural integrity of my salad’s clamshell container, it’s pretty late.

Two bites in, it’s great. Even cold. It must have been dazzling when fresh.

However, and this is me, not them or the salad, my first two mouthsful revealed that the salad is layered on a bed of fries. And, they understandably did not thrive for their experience. Then, I flashed-back mentally Sixth-Sense-style and realised that the server's questions were about these fries. Not only did I not want extra fries but, given I was ordering fries separately did I really want fries embedded with my meal like CNN journalists? ”No” would’ve been the correct answer.

No regrets. Never surrender. And $20-ish = tremendous value for money. If they are new, I wish them great success.

Highly recommend.

Kaitaia: Turkish Kebabs & Pizzas

My prior trips to Kaitaia have been touristy, and with the kids when they were much younger. Plus, it’s been a while. Business travel is dipping in and out of places. One positive or negative event can colour the whole trip, memory of it, and the story that gets on-told about it. I spent very little time in town that wasn’t working indoors but my impression was almost of hustle and bustle.

I was to deliver training in Kaitaia on the Tuesday but was training in Auckland on the Monday. Flying is an option but too much of a roll-of-the-dice with the weather Gods for me to risk it, so I chose to drive up after Monday’s gig. That gig was 75 minutes further south than my home and Kaitaia is about as North as you get in New Zealand without getting salty wet. This is def the longest I’m Ok with driving not flying, especially doing it on consecutive days.

Contrary to past legend, Kaitaia has traffic lights. It also has a Pak n Save of substance, plus a KFC and McDonalds indicating that people with calculators who calculate markets, populations, and growth, that this town has even more potential.

So, knowing in advance that my kebab’s haunt Turkish Kebabs and Pizza closes at 8pm, and with my phone’s map app being helpful, I had 20-minutes of wriggle room to get there. Otherwise, I might be playing KFC and McDonalds off against each other to see who could create the closest facsimile of a kebab for me. I made it with 13 minutes to spare. I burned 7 minutes stopping in Wellsford to zip into a 4 Square to grab some Red Bull (not sponsors but they are clients, as far Foodstuffs the cooperative behind 4 Square). Which of the 2 nearly next-door 4 Squares? That’s my secret. There’s a kebab place right there too. Note to self for future.

$23 is upper-middleish for a large mixed kebab salad so I was expecting better than average and it certainly was. It was a 1km drive to my motel and it travelled well. My concern was with the fries as their style is thick and fluffy. I’m normally preferring a medium fry with a crisp exterior and fluffy interior. I’ve not sold my soul to the McDonalds fry structure. It’s all very subjective. The fries not only survived but out-performed expectations. Perhaps a longer drive might’ve sent them into soggy oblivion, but I’ll thankfully never know.

The salad was great. Worth it. The hummus initially weirded me out but it grew on me. I’m guessing it might’ve been more tahini that I’m used to. Maybe it’s more authentic?

Recommend.

Morrinsville: Saz Kebab and Pizza 2nd October 2024

Morrinsville itself seems on first arrival to have its civic act together. One stray Coca Cola can rolled in the wind as the only evidence of street trash. I saw no obvious graffiti. Funky art cow statues adorned most every corner of the main drag. I’m sure that Morrinsville, like Twin Peaks, has its own dark dirty secrets but as a business traveller rolling into town at dusk (like that Coca Cola can) any drama was not for me to find. I was no special agent and I don’t like coffee, even if it is a damn fine cup. My prey was kebab and I’d already searched ahead of time to ensure it would still be open. Saz Kebab & Pizza was open and the service was efficient if not effervescent. But if I was after effervescence, I’ll go find a full can of Coca Cola. (Note to self – pitch Coca Cola for sponsorship?)

My motel was a mere 400m and the weather favoured me, so I parked up, packed out, and trekked off on foot.

Standard offerings in terms of salads and sauces. I go for all salads and the sweet chilli + garlic yoghurt. Side of fries.

The fires had an aioli dip at no extra cost but they did not travel well, despite it being only a 400m stroll. That would be my only critique. Otherwise fine.

And, at a sub-$20 for a large mixed meat salad, tremendous value for money. When I asked my clients about Saz, the general vibe was positive.

Recommend.